What

by afatqiamat

TImageoday  27 Jan 2014 is my birthday , today I have lost one more year of my life ,and gained one more year of my life ,usually on my birthday  colleagues at my office contribute and bring a cake  , my Seth a young man , treats me with respect  and I have no other responsibilities except what ever I think  would fancy me on that day , so  on days  I act as  chowkidar , sit on his stool all day , on other day I simply occupy  the manager chair  , and because of  my Seth , they  complain but only to themselves  as I intrude on their  Job responsibilities , but the Seth respects me so much , so they cannot do anything about it , except bear me , ………and now after years , I am just an eccentric  entity  somewhat colorful , but at time dangerous  for  I do not want to brag , but I have gone god damn honest  , I do not take any wages , except daily wages  and only for the work I do  , so If I work 2 hrs I ask  for 2 hrs of wages , and if  8 the 8 hrs of wages  ,Seth has many time tried to  fix something Monthly , but I have strongly refused .

I live a self imposed isolated existence  , have leaved all and every one  , after an accident which was the closest  a man can get with death , infact  I believe I had tasted death , as during that experience I saw my dead body with my own eyes , while hovering  over , went through the proverbial   “ tunnel “  spoke in some strange language with some unknown being  and returned , and the next three months in the most tiring and trying circumstances  .

Now I live an Old lady ,Amma Bi , who has graciously  allowed me One room in her house , where all I have is a  12inch Fat Mattress , its good quality , for  even years of use , sometime  I  laid on it for days…there isn’t a single dent  in it  , its still as smooth as new  , two three pillow , around 6-8 dresses , one pair of shoes , one Chappal ,  another pair of kind open shoe , two towels , one Chair , a half table , a few books  , one Rug filling all the room …..and I call this room my   “ khooli “ … usually I go out around 12 am including Sundays …and return around 12  Pm , have breakfast as a  local Pathan Hotel  , and in the evening something as dinner , from  Kathiwari  chooleys , to Biryani , to Bun Kabab , to burger , to Chinese Rice , to Soups , to Bheel Puri , to Zinger , to Fish , to any thing that fancies me that day and is within my budget of that days  wages , it’s a simple life , no complication , just bidding my time .

That one incident changed my life , from a pretty gregarious  merry happy go lucky and Friend of every one kind , I shut myself down in my own  cocoon of existence  , an Isolated  far away from every one , even my Family , my father , my mother , my wife , my children every one ,the reason is simple I feel betrayed , because in  the most tiring circumstance , while after the accident , I lost every thing , my Business ,  money , and worst the  trust in every one  , and now I live all alone

I do not want to make any friends, though other try , but are stonewalled from my side , for I do not want myself to have any expectations from any one  , often people are perplexed and now they have declared me eccentric  , kinda mad , but that’s the way things are now …

I tried to get involved my myself only , and that is pretty selfish of me , but it’s a well considered , for some maybe wrong  thing  , but for me its what it is  now , I know , when I will die , no one except may be  Eidhi or some other similar organization will bury me , or maybe my family , for I have from then held no expectations from any one  , and if any one tries to  “ instill sense “ in me to return to normal life , he get the shock of his life , when I put him on the ignore list and ultimately  his sympathy wave dies out  and he leaves me alone .

Just out of boredom , I to preoccupy myself ,  without any commitment tried a hand at blogging , my blogs was in Roman  Urdu , at one time it was pretty popular ,then I discovered my Punjabi Roots , and started seeing things in a new perspective , then it dawned on me , that the people around me , the Karachi people , the  Urdu speaking people are the most racist and bigoted one , spare one or two  , it led me to do a bit of research on my  Punjabi origin and I discovered that we Punjabis are trapped in a deception , but that’s another story , since that day , I stopped writing blog in Roman  Urdu ….and now its after Ages I have written anything for my blog Image

So this is something I have written after a very  very  long time …. And its not for any one , its just for myself…

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5 Comments to “What”

  1. Firstly, belated Happy Birthday from your “anonymous” friend.

    I miss your Urdu blogs. You should have continued writing. If you have gotten who I am, you are right. I better remain “anonymous”.

    And you are right, people of Karachi are made — or perhaps forced in other words — to adopt the “victim-hood mentality”. That’s unfortunate, and sooner we realise this the better.

    And not everyone can understand the true worth of yours.

    Best, and be well,

    Anonymous

    • ..thank you , yourfriend at hotmail.com … now I days i do not feel like writing anything …I have a pretty hazy idea of a friend who is missing from FB as well as twitter … hope my guess is correct.

  2. You got me. FB has lost its entire charm and we don’t have much intellectuals to discuss ideas and issues.

  3. Could not comment on your blog entitled “Getting torn Apart”. Don’t know why.

    Stay steadfast and strong. I pray you get relief from all the problems soon!

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